Rough+Draft

Brandon Lalli Dr. Archibald

Writing Workshop: Photo

Date 2/27/12

Life on the Sea

“We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came”. - John F. Kennedy. This quote displays the relationship between the sea and a sailor, to a sailor the sea is akin to a home. The sea can be a cruel mistress. It can easily take the lives of many sailors in the blink of an eye. No other photographer captured this horrifying reality better than Francis J. Mortimer. The first image that is shown depicts a ship sinking into the dark abyss of the sea.

The sailors unable to do anything watch as their ship takes on more and more water and drops from view. Two rowboats can be seen with the sinking ship in the background. Now for one to get an image like this Mortimer must have been on that sinking ship. You can see that there are 5 people in the one raft, including Mortimer, and what looks like three in the other. The men in the boat look to either be seasoned sailors or greenhorns, this is just by the look of their age. I can only surmise that this ship was either in the navy or some kind of merchant ship, not intended for the transportation of passengers. This is because if it were a passenger ship then you would be able to see a woman on a rowboat. Due to the fact that women are absent on the rowboat it can be presumed that it is a Navy vessel or merchant ship. This picture reminds my of the tragedy that happened a couple months ago, when the Italian cruise ship capsized off the coast of Tuscany. The Costa Concordia was carrying 4,234 passengers and crew, hit rocks Friday evening near Giglio, a small island off the coast of Tuscany. Investigators say the ship was an "incredibly close" 450 feet or so from the shore (Dolak). This image reminds us all that no matter how far we advance in technology for ships, the ocean will always have the last word when we are traveling. The second picture depicts men rowing to shore via a rowboat. Mortimer’s theme seems to be photos of sailors and/or the ocean and ships.



Land is within sight for these tired sailors. The photo looks like a follow up from the first one, at least in my opinion. Rowboats were rarely ever used that far out from shore unless there was a shipwreck or other type of catastrophe. If they were in fact docking the other reason for the use of a rowboat near shore, you should be able to see a port of some sort, or at least an other ship in sight. Something that may disprove of that theory is the missing person, the small boy in the first picture is gone, and whether the boy is just out of frame or the worst has happened to him is unclear. A theory that also helps the thought that this rowboat is the same one from earlier is that these rowboat have four ors. You can only see three so there may be another sailor off screen. Looking at the date for this photograph it was taken in 1911 the same year as the first one, so I would say that the two are related and that life boat is the same one from the first picture. This picture also has a happy ending, these sailors are returning home. Lighthouses have always been a symbol of hope for anyone at sea, for a lighthouse will always mean land is near. This picture could be intended for any family who has members out at sea. Even if things look lost, there is always hope that your son or father will be all right and will return home any second now. For me this photograph reminded me of when I would visit my Aunt and Uncle down by the shore. They had light houses everywhere. They had two in their house and three in their yard. My Unlce would love to fish and take his boat so I guess the light house gave my Aunt hope that he would come home safe. They even had a photograph that looked very similar to this one. The final pitcure depicts an American flag sailing over a rough sea with three ships in sight.



I personally like this one the best, the reason being it just invokes a sprit of patriotism. I also like the symbolism the ships are literally sailing under the Untied States flag, if the photograph intended this play on words he succeeded quite well. This picture reminds me of all my friends that are serving with the Navy or the armed forces in general. Looking at the amount of stars on the flag you can count 47, so even if you don’t know when this picture was taken you can still guess the age. The date on this photograph is 1933, we did only have 47 states at that time. Due to the rough waves this photo was most likely taken on another ship, for waves this rough don’t appear close to shorelines. The rough waves also could hint at a storm a brewing. The darken sky, with black clouds help to reinforce this storm at sea. Maybe the one ship that Mortimer is on is the same ship that went down to the deep. The date on this photo is 22 years after the first one was taken so this was not the same ship. The flag flying out ward is also how most ships fly their flags, leading the way into the ocean.

Works Cited

Dolak, Kevin. “Italian Cruise Ship Sinking: Search Suspended as Captain Questioned” Good morning America. Jan 16, 2012. 2-27 Web

Mortimer, Francis. The American Flag. 1933. 2-21-12. web Mortimer, Francis. “The Relief Boat”. 1911. 2-21-12. web Mortimer, Francis. The Wreck (of the Arden Craig). 1911. 2-21-12. web

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Nicole Wang

Dr. Archibald

Visual Rhetoric

Engl 340.01

Brandon Lalli Evaluation: Paper 1 RA

> > -I am not sure if this paper demonstrates a rhetorical analysis in its entirety. It does not describe context, identification, use of metaphor, or ethos or pathos. However, it consists of detailed description of the photographs, which is a positive. I suggest incorporating some of the rhetorical tools discussed in class, specifically context, metaphor, identification, and ethos and pathos. > > -I am not sure about the communicative purpose of the photographs. From what I can understand, the writer focuses on the dangers of the sea, and the powerlessness of men against it. The photographs used certainly portray the sea as a perilous place, but I feel as though the argument is unclear. > > > - I believe that the argument or claim put forward for the photographs is unclear. The essay focuses mostly on description, versus arguing for a communicative purpose. The writer claims that the first photograph communicates that the ocean is extremely powerful over men. The second claims that a lighthouse is a symbol of hope. The final photograph claims a sense of patriotism. > > > -I saw some interpretation of metaphors and symbols, but there are no clear terms that define which visual/rhetorical theorists are used in this essay. >
 * 1) ** Does the writer understand the concept of a rhetorical analysis and does the paper demonstrate its application? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **
 * 1) ** What argument / communicative purpose does the paper describe for the photographs it uses. Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **
 * 1) ** What is the argument claim put forward for the photograph(s) under analysis in the paper? Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **
 * 1) ** What did you like about how the various visual/rhetorical theorists (Berger/Faigley/Ramage/Blakesly&Brooke/Barthes) were used in the paper? What could be improved about how the paper uses these theorists? What suggestions do you have for the writer? Be as specific as possible by discussing each theorist one at a time and how the paper uses them. Also, give suggestions of theorists that the writer does not use but might be useful in his/her rhetorical analysis. **

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Deanna Brown 1RA Evaluation for Brandon Lalli

-From what has been given here, I did not see anything about context, identification, metaphor, or ethos/pathos included in the paper. I suggest incorporating these in some way for the next draft. But other than that, I thought the descriptions of the photos were really good.
 * Does the writer understand the concept of a rhetorical analysis and does the paper demonstrate its application? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **

-I'm not sure what the argument or communicative purpose is for these photos-- possibly the dangers of the sea? It was not as effectively presented as it could have been (at least, from what is posted here-- I don't know if the D2L submission was a fuller piece or not).
 * What argument / communicative purpose does the paper describe for the photographs it uses. Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **

- I think that the argument claim was relatively unclear, therefore not as effectively presented as it could have been. I would suggest adding a paragraph explaining a claim that could be represented by all three photos-- possibly patriotism? They all seem to be photos from a Navy perspective.
 * What is the argument claim put forward for the photograph(s) under analysis in the paper? Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **

-I liked the symbol interpretation, but there weren't any clear terms such as the ones that we have read about in Berger/Faigley/Ramage/Blakesly & Brooks/Barthes. I would select one term that could be used for each of the photos and dedicate a paragraph explaining the term in relation to each of the photos individually and as a group.
 * What did you like about how the various visual/rhetorical theorists (Berger/Faigley/Ramage/Blakesly&Brooke/Barthes) were used in the paper? What could be improved about how the paper uses these theorists? What suggestions do you have for the writer? Be as specific as possible by discussing each theorist one at a time and how the paper uses them. Also, give suggestions of theorists that the writer does not use but might be useful in his/her rhetorical analysis. **