1RA+Paper+-+Rough+Draft

**28 February 2012 - 1RA Thesis**

**29 February 2012 - 1RA Rough Draft**

Deanna M. Brown Visual Rhetoric – 1RA 29 FEB 2012   Alfred Eisenstaedt, a photographer and photojournalist, was a German-American born in Dirschau, Germany, on December 6, 1898. In 1935, he emigrated to the United States and established his home in Queens, New York (“Alfred Eisenstaedt”). Eisenstaedt is most known for his candid photographs, celebrity photographs, and other works featured in Life Magazine—including the famous V-J Day kiss.  This pair of photos was found via a Google search of Alfred Eisenstaedt photographs. At a glance, they have many similar characteristics and commonalities. Both are black and white candid shots in the middle of the crowd at Penn Station, World War II, presumably between 1940 and 1945. Each consists of a soldier, identifiable from their uniforms, giving his significant other a hug and a kiss goodbye. The audience can assume from the context of the photos that the soldiers are heading off to war, either for the first time or for any other number of times. Unlike Eisenstaedt’s V-J Day photo, which exuded happiness, these photos reveal a great deal of sadness, particularly from the females, and a sense of urgency as they give their final words and displays of affection.  I believe that the purpose of these photos is to capture candid moments of love between military couples, including the hardships and the sadness that is encountered when one has to sacrifice their relationship for their duty to the country. The photograph of the couple kissing gives the audience a sense of urgency, as if the couple is putting years of love into one final kiss. The photograph of the couple with the female’s head on the man’s shoulder gives the audience a sense of extreme sadness, possibly even regret, towards the soldier’s upcoming journey.  The photo of the couple kissing features a soldier and his significant other sharing what appears to be their final kiss before he is shipped overseas for the war. Like many of Eisenstaedt’s other candid photos taken in Penn Station, this photo is black and white and taken in the middle of the crowd. The soldier has one arm wrapped around the neck of his significant other, and her hand is clutching at either the waist of his coat or his shoulder bag, both in what seems to be a very tight embrace. The power behind the embrace itself leads the audience to believe that this is not a homecoming kiss, but one that will have to last the couple months or even years. The blurred edges of the photo, and the out-of-focus crowd in the background, make the couple appear to be the center of the photograph’s focus, as if they are the only ones in Penn Station. The monochromatic look of the photograph gives it a timeless effect, as if this could be any couple at any given moment, whether it is 1944 or 2012.  The audience could view this photo in two ways: a soldier’s homecoming or his farewell. However, as previously stated, the female’s firm grip and the embrace that the soldier is holding her in leads the audience to believe that he is leaving. This photo captures the last moment that the couple will spend together for an extended period of time—a moment that many couples, particularly those in which one or both are in the military, experience at some point in their relationship.  As a member of the military, I realize how hard it is to say goodbye to a loved one. I’ve left my family due to deployment, and I’ve left my fiancé when I had to attend <range type="comment" id="418119">a school. The last moment you have with someone is precious, just as this photo of the kissing couple implies. Had this photo been of the soldier’s homecoming, there would have been a celebration. The photo would not have the desperate undertones that it displays, and would have had an appearance similar to that of Eisenstaedt’s V-J Day photo. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"> Although their faces are not fully visible, we can assume that the couple is in their late twenties or early thirties, the male obviously a soldier, given his wool uniform and duffle bag stamped with “U.S.” The emotion behind the couple’s kiss leads the audience to believe that this may be the first time that the soldier has left. The male in this photo seems to be holding on to the female for dear life, and the female is gripping him as if she will never let him go, implying that this may be the first time that the two have been separated. However, this photo is not inherently sad—in fact, it seems almost hopeful. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"> The photo of the couple embracing features a female resting her head on her significant other’s shoulder. Like many of Eisenstaedt’s other candid photos taken in Penn Station, this photo is black and white and taken in the middle of the crowd. It appears that the two may be holding hands beneath the soldier’s jacket, and the female may be crying. This photo also features a blurred background, again making the couple appear to be the center of the photograph’s focus, and the center of Penn Station. As with the first photo, the monochromatic look of the photograph gives it a timeless effect, as if this could be any couple at any given moment, whether it is 1944 or 2012. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"> The context of the photo implies that the soldier is leaving, which leads the audience to believe that this is a strictly a farewell shot. The female’s defeated stance is the main indicator of this. As with the photo of the kiss, this photo captures the last moment that the couple will spend together for an extended period of time—a moment that many couples, particularly those in which one or both are in the military, experience at some point in their relationship. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"> While we cannot see their faces, we can assume that the couple is in their twenties or thirties. The emotion behind the embrace itself leads <range type="comment" id="980431">the audience to believe that this may not be the first time that the soldier has left. The female in this photo seems to be more distraught than the female in the first, implying that the stress of multiple deployments is breaking her. The soldier’s upright posture implies confidence, as if he has been through this moment before and knows what lies ahead of him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> Alfred Eisenstaedt took many photos of military couples in Penn Station during World War II, most of them saying farewell as soldiers left for their deployments. He depicted them in candid shots, no posing or manipulation, just their final moments from afar, making them easily appreciated by the audience despite their stark contrast from Eisenstaedt’s famous and joyful V-J Day photograph. <range type="comment" id="688070">


 * <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">1RA Self Evaluation **

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">I believe that I understand rhetorical analysis in theory, however I think that I need a bit more practice with application.
 * <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">Does the writer understand the concept of a rhetorical analysis and does the paper demonstrate its application? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">The two photographs are similar with context, however I believe that there are two different stories behind them that could be seen when looking into the body language of the couples being photographed.
 * <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">What argument / communicative purpose does the paper describe for the photographs it uses. Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">I believe that purpose of these particular photos is to capture candid moments of love between military couples, including the hardships and the sadness that is encountered. While I think it may be an appropriate argument for this set of photographs, I think I did not present it as effectively as I could have (leading back to question #1).
 * <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">What is the argument claim put forward for the photograph(s) under analysis in the paper? Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions. **

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">I need to work on logos/pathos, and add a bit more to the three dimensions of identity.
 * <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">What did you like about how the various visual/rhetorical theorists (Berger/Faigley/Ramage/Blakesly&Brooke/Barthes) were used in the paper? What could be improved about how the paper uses these theorists? What suggestions do you have for the writer? Be as specific as possible by discussing each theorist one at a time and how the paper uses them. Also, give suggestions of theorists that the writer does not use but might be useful in his/her rhetorical analysis. **

<span style="color: #491549; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">Does the writer understand the concept of a rhetorical analysis and does the paper demonstrate its application? Why or why not. Give suggestions.

I think that this writer does understand the concepts of rhetorical analysis, but I think that her paper doesn't express that very well. I believe that if she adds more application the paper will be very solid.

<span style="color: #491549; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">What argument / communicative purpose does the paper describe for the photographs it uses. Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions.


 * She expresses that these photographs represent the grief of having to leave the one you love, even though it is to serve for their country. I think that it is appropriate and effectively presented. I like that she adds personal experience with military duty and the loss of having to leave for a tour. I would suggest analyzing more with the components that were talked about in the various readings that we have done in class.**

<span style="color: #491549; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">What is the argument claim put forward for the photograph(s) under analysis in the paper? Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions.


 * Her argument is that the photographs are to show military life in a very romantic way, the leaving of a significant other. I believe that it is presented in an appropriate way and is an appropriate topic. I think that she gets her point across well in her analysis of the two photographs that she has chosen to analyze. But again I think that she needs to use more of the analytical tools presented to us throughout the course of the class.**

<span style="color: #491549; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">I didn't really think that there was a lot of support backing used from the theorists and if there was it was not explained. I think that if she defines context and the theorist that used it more it would add more to the paper. Also if she talks about the ehtos, pathos and logos more and the theorist who described their applications.
 * <span style="color: #491549; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 15.3333px;">What did you like about how the various visual/rhetorical theorists (Berger/Faigley/Ramage/Blakesly&Brooke/Barthes) were used in the paper? What could be improved about how the paper uses these theorists? What suggestions do you have for the writer? Be as specific as possible by discussing each theorist one at a time and how the paper uses them. Also, give suggestions of theorists that the writer does not use but might be useful in his/her rhetorical analysis. **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #000000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Engl 340 1st Paper: Peer Review Questions Amanda Charles


 * 1) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #000000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Does the writer understand the concept of a rhetorical analysis and does the paper demonstrate its application? Why or why not. Give suggestions.

I think that the writer does understand a rhetorical analysis. However, I feel that she could make that stronger by making more defined arguments about the photographs and how the things she mentioned (like the blurring of the edges) affirm or contradict that argument.


 * 1) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #000000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What argument / communicative purpose does the paper describe for the photographs it uses. Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions.

She discusses how the photographs are most likely describing the grief of saying goodbye. I think it is appropriate, but I feel like she could have made that claim clearer in the beginning of the essay.


 * 1) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #000000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What is the argument claim put forward for the photograph(s) under analysis in the paper? Is it appropriate? Effectively presented? Why or why not. Give suggestions.

I think she discussed an appropriate topic of moments between military lovers. However, I think she could have done a better job at looking at them as a whole with one specific argument. She compared and contrasted them but I didn’t feel like she stated an overall goal for them together as a series.

I think that she used ideas from these authors but didn’t give them credit. I’d suggest introducing each of the terms you use with a brief summary of what one of them said about it to explain it to the reader.
 * 1) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #000000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What did you like about how the various visual/rhetorical theorists (Berger/Faigley/Ramage/Blakesly&Brooke/Barthes) were used in the paper? What could be improved about how the paper uses these theorists? What suggestions do you have for the writer? Be as specific as possible by discussing each theorist one at a time and how the paper uses them. Also, give suggestions of theorists that the writer does not use but might be useful in his/her rhetorical analysis.